THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

Most of us have experienced gut-wrenching circumstances that have left us feeling angry, hurt, attacked or betrayed. The offenses may seem somewhat insignificant or obviously horrendous.

In any case, almost before we realize it, our hearts are streaking down the road at a blazing speed toward the deceptive embrace of bitterness. Like an octopus, it reaches out its ugly tentacles and wraps its many arms around us in an ever tightening grip until our joy, health and sanity are almost squeezed from us. We find ourselves trapped. You’re probably like me and have already experienced enough hurts in a lifetime that, if not dealt with properly, can subtly accumulate into a dark, secret, cesspool of poison frothing in our souls. Everything in life can be tainted and eventually, we become slaves to our own misery.

In the first church that my husband pastored, there was a woman who faithfully attended worship services every week.  But as committed as she seemed to be, there was always something missing from her face…a smile. Oh, she was friendly and pleasant enough to everyone and obviously had a heart for the Lord, but she just didn’t smile.

During a time of congregational testimonies after a series of meetings with a visiting revivalist, she stepped forward one night to share her story. She told us how that several years previously, her brother had been the victim of a savage murder by a young man who lived in the area. Because of the social stature and political clout that the murderer’s father enjoyed in the small town, he was able to help his son ‘beat the rap’ with no jail time spent.

The murderer had since been free to enjoy life, while her brother lay in a cold grave. The incident had paralyzed her family and marred her outlook on life. Since that time, she explained, almost every morning she had awakened with hatred so strong that she often plotted how she could execute the man herself. In fact, sometimes she would even drive to his house and park close by while she plotted the deed over and over again in her head.

Debbie (name has been changed) told us that she had lived that way for years, unable to break the cycle of pain, vengeance and hatred in her heart. Then, one night during the meetings at church, the visiting revivalist addressed the subject of forgiveness. After the message, she was deeply convicted about her unforgiving spirit and the vengeful attitude that literally consumed her life. The whole sordid condition of her heart became apparent to her and she realized that she must forgive her enemy.

Unknown to anyone in the church, she had confessed to God her hatred and had accepted the cleansing power of Jesus Christ to remove the stain of bitterness from her heart. In a visible sign of her inward transformation, she had again driven to the man’s house. She walked to the front door of the house and knocked.

When the man answered the door, it was obvious that he was surprised to see her. She briefly explained that for years she had hated him for what he had done to her brother. Now, she wanted him to know that she had forgiven him completely. She also asked him to forgive her for hating him so.

It was obvious that a different woman stood in our church gathering that night. Her face radiated with an infectious smile. Her new countenance reflected her heart’s condition. She was free from the bondage of unforgiveness that had enslaved her life for so long!

A few years later, after my husband and I had moved from the area to serve in another ministry, Debbie surprised us by showing up at the end of a worship service. Her smile was still there and by her side was her husband who had never attended church back then. Beaming from ear to ear, she explained that since the time of her personal transformation from bitterness to forgiveness, her family had also radically changed. Her husband, who had not been a believer, had     since come to know Christ and had yielded to full-time Christian service! They were then in preparation for the ministry.

What a change in her life since the days when she used to seethe with venomous hatred at the sidewalk of her offender. A wonderful thing had happened! God not only gave her inward peace, but the power of His Spirit was released to work in her family as well.

Are you like Debbie? Has your spiritual life become crippled by the insidious nature of unforgiveness? Are your emotions paralyzed, stuck back in time where the hurts occurred?  Are your family and friends affected by your responses?

You need not live this way! The good news for those who have been victims of bad things is that no one has to become a hostage to someone else’s cruelties, mistakes or insensitivities, no matter what, why or when the offense(s) occurred. At any time, you can experience the all-encompassing, healing power that God promises to provide to anyone who sincerely chooses to simply and completely forgive!